The March Manifesto
I’ve attempted to alphabetize the Madness brought on by amateur athletes who unwittingly impact work-place productivity. Fueled by Red Bull, nacho cheese and a love of all things ball, I bring you the March Manifesto. (To hear more words about, college basketball, click here.)
A is for Amy Wallace. She was the runaway winner of my office pool last year. Amy Wallace picks UConn to win the title every year. Four times in the past 16 years, this strategy has proven a winner. This year it will not. The Huskies are not in the field. So go ahead, Amy Wallace, pick UConn.
B is for binomial nomenclature. That’s science for naming things ... a Chanticleer (Coastal Carolina) is a rooster, a Shocker (Wichita State) is allegedly a wheat plant, and an Osprey (North Florida) is a fish-eating bird of prey.
C is for corporate communicators. The NCAA’s corporate partners will speak to you during nearly 25 percent of each game broadcast these next three weekends. (There are 28 minutes of commercial time during a two-hour time block, excluding halftime.) They paid more than $1 billion -- in the name of amateur athletics, of course -- to do so.
D is for Deadicated: This July, Bruce Hornsby, a longtime stand-in piano player for the Grateful Dead, joins an all-star cast as audiences trance dance thru three final concerts in Chicago. This March, Keith Hornsby (Bruce’s son) will make his dance debut with LSU. The younger Hornsby averaged 14 points and 4 rebounds a game for the ninth-seeded Tigers.
E is for elite talent. It’s nice but not a necessity. Since 1979, only four national champions have featured the player selected No. 1 in that year’s draft -- Magic Johnson (Michigan State, 1979), James Worthy (North Carolina, 1982), Danny Manning (Kansas, 1988) and Anthony Davis (Kentucky, 2012). This could portend bad things for Duke and freshman center Jahlil Okafor -- the presumptive No. 1 pick in 2015.
F is for Future Business Leaders of America. Someday they’ll be our bosses, but, come Thursday, the members of the Harvard basketball team will be more focused on busting our brackets. Last year, the Crimson became the first Ivy League team in 30 years to win NCAA Tournament games in consecutive seasons. They’ll try to expand that streak to three years against fourth-seeded North Carolina.
G is for grumpy old men. March will not be quite the same without Jim Boeheim – the owner college hoops’ most flaunted frown -- and Syracuse. In the midst of a down year, the Orange self-imposed a postseason ban for athletic department rule violations. Still, the bespectacled septuagenarian quota will be met. SMU’s Larry Brown will coach an NCAA tournament game for the first time since he led the Kansas to a surprise title in 1988.
H is for health and wellness. Virginia’s postseason prospects largely depend on an effective return to form by forward Justin Anderson, who saw his first action since Feb. 6 during the ACC tournament. The outlook is murkier for Wisconsin guard Traevon Jackson, out since early January with a broken foot. A few others on the mend: Dwayne Polee (San Diego State), Cat Barber (NC State) and Perry Ellis (Kansas).
I is for the imaginary line. The Pack the Line defense was authored by former Wisconsin coach Dick Bennett. His son, Tony, has perfected it at Virginia. The defense involves intense ball pressure while the four other defenders sag behind an imaginary line 16 feet from the rim (the Pack Line). It would take a TED talk to grasp the scheme’s finer points. The results are easier to decipher. For the second consecutive year, the Cavs rank in the top 5 in defensive efficiency and enter the tournament as a No. 1 seed.
J is for Jays. In the booth, Duke alums Jay Bilas and Jay Williams will remain voices of reason as studio analysts for ESPN. On the bench, Jay Wright has top-seeded Villanova primed for the second Final Four of his tenure in Philly. He’ll need a big tournament from senior forward JayVaughn Pinkston (10 PPG, 5 RPG) to get there. Then, of course, you have the Kansas’ Jayhawks, who are dancing for the 26th straight March.
K is for a Koch and a smile. With a combined net-worth near $100 billion, Charles and David Koch are notorious political power players. Their influence extends to the college hardwood. A nascent Wichita State program has benefited from more than $10 million in Koch donations since 2002. The past few years, including a Final Four run in 2013 and an undefeated regular season in 2014, the Shockers have monopolized mid-major magic. With Fred VanVleet (13 PPG, 5 APG) and Ron Baker (15 PPG, 4.5 RPG) WSU has the backcourt to make another deep run.
L is for looking up. Much has been made of Kentucky’s size. At an average height of 6-6, only a handful of NBA teams, and no college teams, stand taller. Stephen F. Austin will be approaching the tournament from a much lower vantage point. The 12th-seeded Lumberjacks are the shortest team of the 68, with an average player height just below 6-3. SFU is small but smart. The Lumberjacks rank fifth nationally in field goal percent (.491) and first in assists per a game (17.8). They are a solid upset pick to beat slumping five seed Utah.
political infighter and a guy named after a “Star Wars” character, the man they call the Mayor in Ames has the highest approval ratings in Hoops Nation. Fred Hoiberg, a legendary Iowa State guard two decades ago, has the over-achieving Cyclones in the field once again, and national parties (perhaps the Chicago Bulls) have taken notice.
N is for north. From Eastern Washington to West Virginia, the tournament covers much of the continent. But the direction to the left of the rising sun is the trendiest click on the compass. The state of North Carolina has four teams in the field. North Dakota State’s Bison are entering the Dance for the third time, while Northern Iowa and North Florida represent the higher ground of their respective states. Lastly, Boston-based Northeastern gives a voice to the country’s most
O is for on the outside looking in. A few madness mainstays are absent. Syracuse will be missing the event for the first time in six seasons. After advancing to at least the final eight in each of the past four seasons (and five straight bids), Billy Donovan’s Florida Gators will spend their spring somewhere other than Bracketville. Kansas State will also be observing the madness calmly from couches for the first time in five years.
P is for panzer. It’s going to take the heaviest artillery to stop Kentucky. Led by Frank “the Tank” Kaminsky and a fleet of floor-spacing big guys, Wisconsin might possess it. Kaminsky’s production -- 18 PPG and 8 RPG – should earn him every national player of the year award in the coming weeks. He’s putting up those gaudy stats in spite of limited opportunities. At 60.9 possessions per 40 minutes, the Badgers’ offense ranks among the 10 slowest in the nation
.
R is for running on empty. Some coaches drive their star players into the ground like an atrophying Toyota. Of the six players in this year’s field who have played more than 90 percent of their team’s minutes, five lead their squads in scoring. The tournament’s most tread-worn tires belong to North Dakota State’s Lawrence Alexander, who averages nearly 39 minutes per a contest.
S is for seventy-six. As in 1976. That year the Indiana Hoosiers entered the NCAA Tournament with an unblemished record and exited undefeated champs. At 34-0, the Kentucky Wildcats will try to be the first team to run the table since Bobby Knight’s squad. In the 40 years following IU’s lossless run, five teams have entered the tournament without a defeat. None have won a title.
T is for those who prefer to give. Providence point guard Kris Dunn is the tournament’s most generous distributor, ranking second nationally with 7.6 assists per a game and assisting on half of the Friars’ made field goals when he is on the floor. A few other setup men to watch: Arizona’s T.J. McConnell (6.4 APG); Xavier’s Dee Davis (6.1 APG); and Ohio State’s Shannon Scott (5.9 APG).
U is unsung (for now). If we’re looking for hero-ballers in the making, the tournament’s most prolific gunner is Oregon’s Joe Young (16.6 field goal attempts per a game). Boise State’s Derrick Marks takes a larger percentage of his team’s shots (36%) than any player in the madness. The nation’s leading scorer, Eastern Washington’s Tyler Harvey (22.9 PPG), could make the 13th-seeded Eagles a Cinderella against Georgetown, which is 2-5 against double-digit seeds since 2008.
V is for Version 2.0. There is one at Arkansas, where former Nolan Richardson assistant Mike Anderson has the Razorbacks tournament bound for the first time since 2008. With a deep roster of athletes, the Hogs play fastest basketball in the tournament – averaging more than 70 possessions per 40 minutes – and that speed leads to 5.9 extra scoring chances per a game (eighth nationally).
W is for the weight of expectations. Georgetown is the field’s heftiest entrant, with an average player weight of 225.2 pounds. Behemoth 350-pound center Josh Smith anchors the Hoyas in the post (11 PPG on 65% shooting). He’s also the tournament’s most foul-prone player, averaging 3.5 per a game. The field’s other heavy hitters: Texas (average player weight of 218.4); Notre Dame (215.9); and LSU (215.7)
X is for xenophobes. Lovers of America and its home-grown basketball products might not enjoy Gonzaga’s worldly roster. The Zags feature four players – two Canadians, one Pole and a Lithuanian – with non-US passports scoring in double figures. Freedom lovers need not worry. Gonzaga has advanced to the Sweet 16 just twice in the past decade.
Y is for year of the Cats. Kentucky has been the story of college basketball since its season-opening rout of Kansas, and there’s a reason. It’s entirely possible that 10 players on this season’s roster will play in the NBA. Their average margin of victory is 21 points. The Cats rank first in defensive efficiency. The Cats rank 10th in offensive efficiency. Yes, they are very good at scoring points and very hard to score against. Seeing as how those are the basic tenets of the sport, the Wildcats are my pick.
Zero percent chance. I’m fairly confident Kentucky wins the title. As for the rest of these ACC-centric Final Four picks? There’s a zero percent chance they are correct. Nonetheless … in addition to picking UK out of the Midwest, I like North Carolina to win the West Region, Virginia to win East Region and Duke to win the South Region. The Wildcats will beat Virginia by many points to win Kentucky’s ninth national title.
Brendan Murphy is a Chicago-based writer, comedian and co-host of the First of the Worst podcast. Follow him on twitter @Chi_Murph.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(
Atom
)
No comments :
Post a Comment